Let’s begin this by going back to the time when we were getting
married and suffering through “pre-marital-fears”. What was it like? I
remember feeling sudden love for my family, the fear of not getting
accepted in the new-family and most importantly, the fear of not getting
accepted by the mother-in-law. Through experience, I can say that most women go through these emotions at some level.
Nevertheless, these fears vanish after marriage . Daughter-in-laws survive whatever may come, be it docile, arrogant or a dominant mommy in law. The ups and downs happen in every household, keep aside the “saas-bahu ka rishta” and recall the times when you have fought with your own mothers. The battle goes on forever, the simple generation gap that rules the “mother-daughter” relation also rules the “saas-bahu ka rishta”. What differs in the two relations is the reaction that comes from the two elder women. Where our moms simply forgave us as their children, mom-in-laws are stubborn about holding the grudges against the daughter-in-laws.
However, now comes the saving time, Majority of us are aware of the facts mentioned above, but very few of us know how to keep it at peace. The obsolete solutions can be found anywhere, but what most of the gyan gurus forget is the same yet different position of the saas and the bahu. Some things which if kept in mind by the daughter in laws could help keep the relation under control are:
1) She gave birth and raised the man you fell in love with, and do not forget that we as mothers fall in love with our babies during pregnancy.
2) Try understanding the hard decision she had to take while giving away the son from under her care to the “new woman”.
3) Learn to share your husband , and trust your husband: his heart has enough space to accommodate both of you.
4) Remember to love you children’s beloved dadi. It is observed so often that grandmothers with their experience and clever learning are better than the mothers at handling the children.
Nevertheless, these fears vanish after marriage . Daughter-in-laws survive whatever may come, be it docile, arrogant or a dominant mommy in law. The ups and downs happen in every household, keep aside the “saas-bahu ka rishta” and recall the times when you have fought with your own mothers. The battle goes on forever, the simple generation gap that rules the “mother-daughter” relation also rules the “saas-bahu ka rishta”. What differs in the two relations is the reaction that comes from the two elder women. Where our moms simply forgave us as their children, mom-in-laws are stubborn about holding the grudges against the daughter-in-laws.
However, now comes the saving time, Majority of us are aware of the facts mentioned above, but very few of us know how to keep it at peace. The obsolete solutions can be found anywhere, but what most of the gyan gurus forget is the same yet different position of the saas and the bahu. Some things which if kept in mind by the daughter in laws could help keep the relation under control are:
1) She gave birth and raised the man you fell in love with, and do not forget that we as mothers fall in love with our babies during pregnancy.
2) Try understanding the hard decision she had to take while giving away the son from under her care to the “new woman”.
3) Learn to share your husband , and trust your husband: his heart has enough space to accommodate both of you.
4) Remember to love you children’s beloved dadi. It is observed so often that grandmothers with their experience and clever learning are better than the mothers at handling the children.
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