The furore created by the skimpy clad diva was ferocious. The reason other than paucity of her dress was that she had almost touched upon the raw nerve of Indians. Perhaps she had no idea of the reaction when she said that Indians were a hypocritical society. Well, we might be that but never in the open. She had committed the cardinal sin of saying it loudly.
Of course, we are hypocrites. If there is a measuring scale we would be 9th or 10th on the score of 10 in some areas of hypocrisy. But for god’s sake Mallika! We do not shout it from roof tops or in a press conference. We are the most skillful hypocrites in the world .Take the myth of marriages being solemnized purely for the reason of compatibility. Nothing could be far from the truth.
All of us are experts at practicing virtue at a distance. The deeply embedded desire of dowry is worth a thought. Nine out of ten educated people criticize it. On first encounter every boy’s father invariably remarks – ‘we don’t need anything. Whatever you give is your choice. It will be after all a gift to your daughter. The mask of being righteous remains firmly strapped at all times.
We are so great at hiding our true beliefs that we can even deceive ourselves in what we publicly state to be our true conviction. The practice of dowry is condemned by every loudly thinking person. The demand is never openly made. It is only at the time of deciding the nitty-gritty of solemnizing the marriage that the situation unfolds. Generally someone from groom’s family will innocuously ask about items being given to the Indian brides so that they will not purchase the same for the bride’s room in their house. What will be the point in duplicating the purchase of a Television, fridge, washing machine, play station, double bed, dressing table, safe, decorative items, modular kitchen, car, etc? Obviously, the list of items needed in the room of the bride is a subtle reminder of what is being expected.
It is just a step behind the second hint of why purchase these items. It would be better if the monetary value of these items is calculated and cash is given to groom to purchase items of his liking. No household is free of this kind of subterfuge when it comes to dowry. The merits of the girl could even be secondary.
The same is true of expectations for the girls’ match. The compatibility begins and ends with the potential or reality of the financial condition of the future groom. It is always about money. No one bothers about love, beauty, compatibility, nature, values and lifestyle. Search for a groom starts and ends at his potential of earning money. More the potential the more is the market value of the groom. The going rates for an IAS, an IPS, a CA, a doctor and an IITian run in millions. Even a bank clerk’s price needs checking if someone finds the idea of ‘grooms are sold’ to be preposterous. Long back the INDIA TODAY had published a survey. It had put the going rate for an IAS at a Crore INR at that time. Now the inflation has raised the rates of high end grooms proportionately. There are no bargain sales or a ‘monsoon dhamaka’ in matrimonial market. It is a cut and dried affair because we are true hypocrites. We shout about the change but never let the risk come our way.
