SWAYAMVARA – THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE

Swayamvara

The gathering is assembled, waiting.  The maiden has agreed to get married.  She steps into the hall, among the assembly.  All eyes are on her.  But no, she is not being inspected.  She is not going to avert her gaze in the name of feminine reserve as prospective bridegrooms and their families size her up.  She is not going to be paraded as if on display.  She is going to appraise…she is going to choose.  It is secondary whether the actual wedding is right then or she will marry in a week.  More significantly, this is the moment of choice.  In her hand, she carries a garland.  The occasion: her swayamvara.

Today, women empowerment need not re-invent the wheel but just take a leaf out of the old books.  When popular social networking sites such as Facebook team up with this idea, a woman gets a platform where she can decide who is good enough for her.  She has the avenue to familiarise herself with the interests and qualifications of the man she might find interesting from among those who have chosen to provide her their profile. Family and friends may be involved – the gathering that stands witness at a swayamvara – but the garland is in her hands.  Instead of elaborate invitations and resplendent assemblies, there are virtual invitations and connections through a Facebook app: the twenty first century swayamvara which places in contemporary context the benefits of the age old tradition.

Swayamvara is what gave the right to make one’s own choice in marriage, matrimony, vivaah, nuptials… call it what you will.  The maiden with the garland, unlike many even in today’s world, was unlikely to be pushed or driven into something that would so vitally affect her life.  The choice of the spouse was made by “swayam” (self).  Jaichandra may not have approved of his daughter Sanyogita’s love for Prithviraj Chauhan and even put a statue of the latter as a “dwarpal” at her swayamvara, where he deliberately omitted to invite this one eligible suitor; but he could do little to stop his daughter from proclaiming her choice openly by placing the garland around the neck of the “dwarpal”.  Before the stunned eyes of those assembled, she made her choice clear even as the man she loved and who loved her whisked her away.

Often, suitors had to prove their abilities before the young bride.  Ram had to first string the Shiva Dhanush and Arjun won Draupadi’s heart upon hitting the eye of a revolving fish after looking at its reflection in water.  When we dismiss what dates back years as ‘old fashioned’, we don’t realise that some of it actually makes perfect sense.  The woman makes the choice from among those men who have agreed to be there for her and who prove they are capable and suitable.  When garlands are exchanged at the mandap as the swayamvara, let that truly symbolise that the union is one made by choice of the man and the woman concerned rather than just a hollow ritual.