WHY WOULD MATRIMONIAL SPEED DATING WORK?

Speed dating is one novel way to find a match.  It may seem incredible that you can find someone in 3 to 8 minutes worth expressing an interest in but  studies, such as the one conducted in 2005 by evolutionary psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania of dating data from 10,526 anonymous people speed dating and the others conducted in Edinburgh, found:

• most people made their choices within the first three seconds of meeting
• 45% of the women participants in a speed dating event and 22% of the men came to a decision within the first 30 seconds
• whatever people may say about beliefs and what they are looking for in another, the ‘clicking’ happens quickly
• issues such as religion and previous marriages played less of a role than expected
• people may have bad experiences with matches that look good on paper, so in a match seeking environment like speed dating, it seems they tend to follow their hearts and desires
• dialogue concerning travel resulted in more matches than dialogue about movies
• scent and age play some part in the choice
• women are more selective than men
• women are quicker at making up their minds about a potential partner than men

Proponents of speed dating argue that it works on its ability to save time as most people quickly decide if they are romantically compatible – after all, first impressions last.

Since meeting sufficient number of interesting people in everyday life is so incredibly difficult. The concept of Matrimonial speed dating is an awesome idea whose time has come. In 2.5 hours a person can meet as same number of prospective matches as it would take 3 months to meet. Add to this the humungous planning, preparation, emotions and expenses involved and compare it to a simple 2.5 hours fun event which gives you not only better results but also preempts you from getting stuck on a long boring date with someone who’s not your type.

SPEED DATING EVENTS : 23RD JUNE, GURGAON

In Speed dating, an equal number of girls and guys meet each other for five minutes, one after another to decide who they would like to meet again. They must mark on their date card- YES if they like to meet again and No if they don’t after each meeting. Speed dating is Scientifically proven to be highly effective. The subconscious exchange of verbal and non-verbal signals, between two people kick starts a chemistry, which is either positive or negative, which help people decide whether they like someone or not, in less than 3 min.

Meet quality people

You’ll meet 12-15 high quality singles, who’re interested in marriage, something impossible to achieve in regular day to day life. We confirm a participant only if he or she is found Compatible , to the event in terms of Job status, Annual income, Education, Personal values and Refinement. The event is open to only members of ‘Marry in a week’ to ensure Proper screening.

You save time, money and emotions.

In our Event you meet 12-15 people in less than 2.5 hours. Our format is designed to ensure everyone including a shy person, talks to each of the12-15 singles, one-on-one! In order to understand the value of Speed dating for matrimonial purpose, just compare the time, emotions and money invested in meeting just one person in a traditional arrangement vis a vis with a speed dating event.

You’ll do incredibly well if you manage to meet 3-4 people every month, which means to meet 12-15 persons you need 3 to 4 months. Besides, each of these meeting requires an appointment, getting dressed, getting nervous and substantial expenses. No such things in a speed dating event.

Our privacy is protected and security

Even though you meet 12-15 singles per event, you don’t give your name or contact details to any of them. Only those who are mutually matched get each other’s contact details via the organizers,  while others get absolutely no info about you. We ensure that people arrive and leave the venue as strangers except they would get contact details of their Mutual matches from us. We guard your Privacy

 fiercely. Our events take place in 5* hotels in a private area, removed from the view of passersby or spectators. If you are a girl you could bring a guest along for moral support. After the event girls leave 10 minutes before guys to prevent unnecessary interaction outside the venue.

Rules and format

Participants are instructed to not ask each other: For a date, probing personal questions or contact details. These events have no rejections as nobody at the event knows who marked what for whom. The only way one can

 know if anyone has expressed a desire to meet him or her, is if he or she also has expressed a similar request. In theFormat Girls remain seated while guys move from table to table every 5 minutes. On the half way mark we also have a small break.

Participant Pre Requisites:

Participant must have a completed profile on ‘Marry in a week’ Matrimonial app. to become eligible.

If you are not a member, pl. click to sign up:

http://apps.facebook.com/marryinaweek

Events

Event- 1

Girls- 25-29 Yrs. : Working/ Never married singles / Attractive / Refined

Guys- 28-32 Yrs. : Top education/ Never married singles /Professionals with attractive jobs and Incomes / Successful Businessmen / Refined

Hindu / North Indian / Caste does not matter

Event- 2

Girls- 28-35 Yrs. : Professionals or Self employed/ Singles /Attractive / Refined

Guys- 32-37 Yrs.: Top education / Singles/Professionals with High status Job/Annual Income 12 Lac & above Successful Businessmen / Refined

Hindu / Region does not matter /Caste does not matter

Venue: DOUBLE TREE by Hilton ( 5* hotel), Golf Course Road, Gurgaon.

Date: 23rd June 2013.

Time: Event 1 / 1000 am-1230 pm ; Event 2  /1400 pm to 1630pm

Event Cost: 4000 Rs.

(1000 Rs off to Early Birds – first 5 bookings)

If you are interested in above events please let us know in either of the following ways:

1. Send email :contact@marryinaweek.com
2. Call us: 09910697869 or 0124 4301140 From 10 am to 08 pm.
3. Use contact form on the app or website   http://apps.facebook.com/marryinaweek or http://www.marryinaweek.com
4. Message us on our facebook page   http://www.facebook.com/marryinaweek

For more info: http://www.marryinaweek.com/speed-dating/

Send your suggestions, including ideas of new events for specific categories. :Contact@marryinaweek.com

WHAT IS SPEED DATING?

What is speed dating?

Speed dating is an arranged form of matchmaking that focuses on meeting a lot of people in a very short span of time. In a way, it is a very modern and contemporary version of the traditional Indian matchmaking. In fact, it is a much easier and more efficient way of finding excellent prospective matches than the commonly practiced matrimonial dating these days.

In a speed dating event, single people from both the genders get to talk to each other over short meetings of five minutes each. These face-to-face five-minute meetings are called speed dates. After each of these speed dates, the participants need to tick a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’ in the box against the question asking them if they would like to meet the person they just met, once again, before moving on to their next speed date.

The event gets over after all the speed dates have taken place. That is, each participant has had a chance to meet every other participant of the opposite sex. The organizers then match the ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ ticks of each and every participant in order to find out which of them would like to meet each other again and  send emails to the participants, disclosing the full names and contact details of their matches, so that they can carry on from there on their own.

What is the objective of speed dating? Who is it meant for?

The objective of speed dating is to allow smart young professionals, who would like to get married but are still looking around for the right partner, to meet wonderful new people with similar backgrounds in a fun, safe and private environment.

The hardest part of matchmaking is the opportunity to meet sufficient enough number of compatible and interesting new people so that the probability of making a good alliance can be improved. Speed dating can help do that easily. It is a great way for meeting lots of new people, who are sailing in the same boat, and who are actively searching for good matches themselves, in a short span of time.

Speed dating is ideally meant for those professionals who get very limited time to socialize due to their very hectic professional schedules. They tend to hang with the same set of friends and colleagues every other day. Due to this they hardly get any opportunities to meet new people, which significantly hamper their chances of running into good prospective matches.

What is the science behind speed dating?

It has been scientifically proven that speed dating is a highly effective tool for matchmaking. It can really help people decide who they want to meet again. When two people meet they subconsciously exchange verbal and non-verbal signals. This exchange of signals kicks in the chemistry, which can be either positive or negative. On the basis of this strong intuitive feeling, one can usually decide whether one would like to meet the other person again or not.

Studies have shown that people can take this decision really very quickly, often in a matter of a few minutes. Incidentally, this advantage of judging people by intuition and personal chemistry can only be availed in a personal one-to-one meeting and can never be felt through any online speed dating experience.

What is the history behind speed dating?

Speed dating, in its current form, was perhaps first started by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo in Los Angeles in 1999 for young Jewish singles to meet for the purpose of finding good prospective matches. It soon spread throughout the rest of the western world as a revolutionary new way for busy single people to meet each other without any of the stigma associated with online dating.

Now, it is increasingly becoming a necessity in today’s fast-paced world, even in relatively conservative Asian societies such as in India, where young professionals often do not enjoy the luxury of time but still feel the need to break away from the traditional ways and try to find their soul mates on their own. Speed dating offers a fun and safe way to meet many like-minded, interesting and compatible prospects at one go. Therefore, speed dating in India has a great future.

SEEKING A MATCH – A RELEVANT ONE

I am all of twenty three years old.  A young person poised to open new chapters in life.  One is inevitably marriage.  I am also a product of today: I am educated, working towards financial independence, social, technically savvy.  Malls, smart phones and countless friends on Facebook are part of my life.  I am looking for a partner, a soul mate, but in ways that I am comfortable with.  And I do believe that a Facebook app on matrimony is not a bad idea at all.  It suits me to a T.

I admit I am not radical.  I love and respect my parents, elders and culture.  I do not wish to be a rebel and I may not defy their suggestions, yet I want more – additional options that will reassure me that I stand a greater chance of getting what I want.  Just as in olden times parents invited suitable young men to their daughters’ swayamvara and sent their young sons as prospective bridegrooms, I want that option for myself.  Not an actual swayamvara but a virtual one – only for those who will match as bride or groom.  Parents and their offspring want an appropriate match; in other words, we are all looking for relevance.

My match making sum:

my qualities and what I normally do

+ some commonalities I am looking for

+ no fear of showing or communicating these

+ looking at these lists everyday to remind myself or, when convinced, make adjustments

-  clutter

____________________________________________________________

           my road map for seeking a suitable match

____________________________________________________________

 I have a profile on Facebook.  My profile gives my education, likes and dislikes.  My pictures show my lifestyle and preferences.  My status says unmarried.  I know there are several like me out there with profiles.  I also know that the more the friends, the less the chances of faking a life on Facebook.  And why would you want to fake a life, especially if you are looking for true friends or soul mates?  It would be a funeral and not a wedding!  So, if I want to use a system that takes information from my existing profile and puts up information relevant to my final aim, simultaneously ensuring only those I permit can access it, why not? Because the way I see it -

   Genuine profile information + access to those qualified, of interest or Interested = RELEVANCE

This equation immediately ups my chances of clutter-free suitable matches that I can express an interest in or allow to expire in a week.  Facebook and matrimony.

Technology taking inspiration from culture to facilitate what I want – not a bad idea at all.

SWAYAMVARA – THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE

Swayamvara

The gathering is assembled, waiting.  The maiden has agreed to get married.  She steps into the hall, among the assembly.  All eyes are on her.  But no, she is not being inspected.  She is not going to avert her gaze in the name of feminine reserve as prospective bridegrooms and their families size her up.  She is not going to be paraded as if on display.  She is going to appraise…she is going to choose.  It is secondary whether the actual wedding is right then or she will marry in a week.  More significantly, this is the moment of choice.  In her hand, she carries a garland.  The occasion: her swayamvara.

Today, women empowerment need not re-invent the wheel but just take a leaf out of the old books.  When popular social networking sites such as Facebook team up with this idea, a woman gets a platform where she can decide who is good enough for her.  She has the avenue to familiarise herself with the interests and qualifications of the man she might find interesting from among those who have chosen to provide her their profile. Family and friends may be involved – the gathering that stands witness at a swayamvara – but the garland is in her hands.  Instead of elaborate invitations and resplendent assemblies, there are virtual invitations and connections through a Facebook app: the twenty first century swayamvara which places in contemporary context the benefits of the age old tradition.

Swayamvara is what gave the right to make one’s own choice in marriage, matrimony, vivaah, nuptials… call it what you will.  The maiden with the garland, unlike many even in today’s world, was unlikely to be pushed or driven into something that would so vitally affect her life.  The choice of the spouse was made by “swayam” (self).  Jaichandra may not have approved of his daughter Sanyogita’s love for Prithviraj Chauhan and even put a statue of the latter as a “dwarpal” at her swayamvara, where he deliberately omitted to invite this one eligible suitor; but he could do little to stop his daughter from proclaiming her choice openly by placing the garland around the neck of the “dwarpal”.  Before the stunned eyes of those assembled, she made her choice clear even as the man she loved and who loved her whisked her away.

Often, suitors had to prove their abilities before the young bride.  Ram had to first string the Shiva Dhanush and Arjun won Draupadi’s heart upon hitting the eye of a revolving fish after looking at its reflection in water.  When we dismiss what dates back years as ‘old fashioned’, we don’t realise that some of it actually makes perfect sense.  The woman makes the choice from among those men who have agreed to be there for her and who prove they are capable and suitable.  When garlands are exchanged at the mandap as the swayamvara, let that truly symbolise that the union is one made by choice of the man and the woman concerned rather than just a hollow ritual. 

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN GETTING MARRIED? FINDING A MATCH?

Take this quiz and figure out more about yourself and what you want …

I am excited if it is possible to

• marry in a week
• seek a match conveniently at my pace
• do both

I prefer

• arranged marriage
• love marriage
• either – any fine by me

 As far as social networking goes I

• am a whiz
• hate it
• am just ok – use it only when I need to

I am most on

• Facebook
• Twitter
• the couch

Facebook can help me find a spouse

• Yes
• No
• Don’t know

If someone has at least 50 friends

• that person has to have given genuine details – you can’t fool so many together
• that person is miraculously fooling 50 or more people at the same time
• er – how much is 50?

Information taken from a Facebook profile is therefore

• worth considering
• unsure
• what’s a profile?

Compatibility in a marriage comes from sharing

• values, interests and attitudes
• caste and community
• umm – ever heard of ‘his’ and ‘hers’?

Privacy is sure if

• I control who sees my details, and not even my parents and FB friends can see them unless I allow it
• a small number of middlemen and brokers know all there is to know
• you don’t share information at all – just enter blindly into matrimony

Information and detail is helpful

• if it is sorted by relevance to the purpose, and clutter removed
• and the greater the volume, the more the confusion and the irritation
• to keep me occupied during commercial breaks on TV as I lie on the couch

If the detail sounds good, I would like to

• express an interest – easily – and take it forward from there
• wonder if things can really be so easy
• go under the couch – can’t handle attractiveness on my own

It would be nice to receive relevant profiles or responses

• within a week – so I know where I stand and soon
• whenever – I don’t mind waiting
• let me check – depends on the TV guide on my set top box

I am keen for the convenience if the option is available today

• for free
• for a no-exchange, no-return deposit
• Go on! Even my DTH operator charges 40 rupees a day for the package I want

If you have scored 80% or more in the first options, check out the new Facebook app on matrimony that lets you know who likes you in a week.  If your score is higher in the second option, you are not looking for an easy, quick and clutter-free way of doing things, so let your mind and heart process whatever they are doing right now.  If your score has more of option three, marry your television – that way you won’t have to get up from your couch.

MARRY IN A WEEK AT A CLICK – A POEM

There once was a man who wanted a wife

Why else but to share his life

Arranged or love marriage he was game

For him it was all the same

Family and experts sent word far and wide

Subjected him to comments sweet and snide

For privacy he did long

Just someone to whom he’d belong

Then came upon a matrimonial app

that to his goal provided the map

It ensured his profile only was seen

by those truly relevant and keen

Not even Facebook friends could tease

He gained control but without high fees

Cutting detail like hot knife through butter

The app prevented a whole lot of clutter

Six every week, each profile got individually

After being matched for compatibility

Expired, if of no interest, in a week

Some he wanted more to seek

Then he could on express interest click

And each could view other’s profile to pick

To go beyond community and caste

And judge the potential of relationships to last

Data taken from Facebook profile

Ensured accuracy, relevance and style

Only those qualify if FB friends number fifty

Such network prevents one from being shifty

FB provides age, status, work and education

If married or engaged, app ensures rejection

But if there, it is the person whole

Values, interests, pics – a look into the soul

So now he sits at phone and laptop

Receives what he needs and wants

A process streamlined and quick

That’s marryinaweek at a click

“NOT TONIGHT DEAR; I HAVE A HEADACHE…”

According to a recent news report, people these days have become so gizmo addicted that members of the same family, living under the same roof, communicate between rooms of the house through mails, calls and sms-es.  One had heard of staleness creeping into married life – but detachment to this extent in marriage and family?  Many nod their heads sagely and pronounce that a family born of the compromise of an arranged marriage can only end this way; others wag their fingers triumphantly to emphasise the fate of love marriages once the daily humdrum of life has taken off the rose tinted glasses and flung them out of the window of romance.

Communication is so vital that without it a relationship doesn’t really have much of a future except as a necessity, habit or trap.  All partners and members of a domestic group – family, nuclear or joint, marriage – communicate their emotions, opinions and needs.  How they do it depends on personality – outgoing, garrulous, reserved, expressive in more than speech, physically demonstrative and so on.  It is invariably a mix of methods ranging in degrees between deliberate and spontaneous.  Words, silence, looks, expressions, touch, carriage become means of communication.  A particularly explosive situation is promised if silence is taken as agreement or weakness, especially in cultures where age and gender dictate freedom or repression.  Not communicating feelings and aspiration translates into those around not recognizing them, hence being forced to shoulder uncomfortable situations until the breaking point is reached.  On the other side is the issue of communicating but in a manner that is either garbled or downright rude, even abusive, therefore often counter-productive.

These are complex issues with no straight answers.  There may be relationships or phases in them when talking and sharing every detail seems normal.  There may be those when speech becomes unnecessary – when much is revealed by the averting of eyes, a stiff profile in the car seat, laughing eyes peeping over the rim of a cup of coffee, a sharp look, wearing a color the other likes (or dislikes) … Into this now come the gadgets that are so much a part of our lives.  Using them from a distance is inevitable but when in the same house?  There is something to be said for ‘Wat time sports prac tom mrng?’ on a trusty mobile rather than crawling out of a cosy bed on a freezing winter night to go to the teenager in the next room, cursing for forgetting to check up on that at the dinner table. 

 And for beaming a spontaneously captured pose on the webcam before the moment is lost directly to someone catching up with friends on Facebook in the next room.  The impact of emoticons relaying a grin, anger, dismay can sometimes be greater than in person.  But can these things be allowed to become the norm rather than the exception in a home is a question too prickly to consider.  Just imagine a beep from one side of the bed being answered by another beep from the other side with the classic, “Not tonight dear; I have a headache…”

MARRYINAWEEK OVER COFFEE

Overheard at a neighboring table at a café, unwittingly and forced to since the two young men in their late-twenties spoke unconscionably  totally absorbed in their own situation, uncaring if anyone else heard them or not.  Today’s generation.  Not apologetic about who they are or what they want – in this case, getting married, finding a suitable match and a newly discovered matrimony app on Facebook:

Guy 1 (with bulging biceps, obviously a gym buff): Ma and Dad have shown me so many pics – they all look good.  Girls are so good at putting all that stuff on their faces …

Guy 2 (with trendy shades perched on head): … no way! Not all – I’m sure they went to the beauty parlour first.  Anyway, whoever you choose, you’ll have a good looking girl walk in with you at our parties

Bulging Biceps: But I can’t tell what they are really like.  Be sensible – I’m not only going to be attending parties – I want a proper profile – you know, interests, beliefs, likes, dislikes

Trendy Shades (pressing some buttons on his phone): You’re in luck – found this while posting my status yesterday.  ‘Marry in a week’ which world’s first Facebook app on matrimony. ….. Register.  It’s free for now.

Bulging Biceps Ma’s already registered me on a dozen matrimonial sites

Trendy Shades: This is not a matrimonial site. It’s a Matrimonial app on facebook which your mom can’t use on your behalf, only you can use while after logging into your facebook account….why not try it.   Your mom and dad can only access your profile if you share Facebook password with them. BTW, I’m sure they will be looking for caste and stuff and knowing you, you are more keen on finding other things about the girl

Bulging Biceps: Sure.  I’m not marrying a caste, I’m marrying a person.  That they do not understand.  I want someone with whom I can share things – there has to be something, personality-wise

Trendy Shades: Then this is it.  This app will syncs marriage relevant information from facebook to the app profile.  Your status has to be unmarried for this to work for you.  Plus, it will only take profiles of those with 25 friends or more on Facebook. You can’t be fake on Facebook with a large number of friends – so you can be sure profile is credible.

Bulging Biceps: Forget it.  I already have enough matches – too much clutter on my laptop already

Trendy Shades: But this app will match your profile with others with a compatibility quotient and give you a few matches everyday.  And they won’t pile up – they will expire in a week. If you like something, click on ‘Express interest’ and if the other side too accepts you then you can view each other’s profiles and uske baad, you are the boss – take it forward from there

Bulging Biceps: That should be quick.  At least I won’t have to wait for ages for a response.  It’ll save me time

Trendy Shades: Yup! 5 minutes daily, just like you update your Facebook posts.

Bulging Biceps: Great. Thanks – good that you know so much about it.  How come?

Trendy Shades:  It’s easy – doesn’t take much….. it was so simple and easy to use……  Besides, I registered on Marry in a week last night. Let’s pay up and leave – I have to be in CP in an hour.   Chal, let’s go … There’s loads more – I’ll tell you on the metro…

TO DO OR NOT TO DO HOUSEHOLD CHORES?

A generation or two ago the roles were divided neatly along gender lines. Men were the bread winners and women the home makers.

However the lines have now become fuzzy. With education and social mobility, women are making a mark in the world outside home. They are entering what were earlier considered male bastions. However while women’s attitudes are rapidly changing, men are not changing as rapidly.

I am not surprised. Why would someone voluntarily give up their privileges?

However, I am going to give 5 reasons why sharing household chores is a good idea for men:

1. It improves your health.  What do you do instead of helping out? 9 times out of 10 sit in a couch in front of the TV. Housework will definitely consume more calories than watching TV and will help maintain your health.
2. It improves your standard of living. If two heads are better than 1 then 4 hands are better than 2.  Your wife is not super woman…..something will have to get off the plate. A ton of talented and erstwhile economically productive women give up their careers post children. It is not because they lack ambition but because they just can’t physically manage it. They do try and juggle it for a while. But then they realize that home and kids are their responsibility and so reprioritize their lives. This despite knowing that today more than ever you need two incomes to get ahead.
3. It is not just about the time it takes to do the household chores but the sheer drudgery of them, the total lack of appreciation or even acknowledgement for them. Contrast it with working outside of home…the money, the feeling of worth. Now that women have experienced that they are certainly not happy doing it.
4. It provides a role model for your children. Your wife is doing less for you than your mom did for your dad. And she is doing it far more grudgingly. What do you think will your sons’ wife do?
5. Love at the end of the day is about sharing and caring. A happy wife. Is doing some dishes worth it?

As a friend of mine remarked, isn’t it amazing that the newspaper is full of incidents of people being shot at the slightest pretext manning a toll plaza or parking in a particular spot, yet no husband has ever been shot for doing the dishes.

By Courtesy  : http://www.marryinaweek.com/category/blog/