“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in a possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.”
The famous lines of Jane Austen’s Pride and prejudice encapsulate the wedding structure of the 19th century, which is lived and gone! The lines have a simple meaning, where the narrator is saying that for a rich single man the next step would be to wed a damsel. Well, the structure is changed; now the men like these cannot simply qualify for the “wedding market”, as women do not want a shallow Richie-rich anymore!
Tons of wealth fail to attract women as the economic structure of contemporary civilization has rich and economically settled women, thus women do not depend on the man so much to be the sole bread earner. A structure where women live life akin to men, companionship becomes the sole prey to hunt for in a marriage. So, the core entity women are looking for in a man is; his ability to be her companion.
The funda will be easy to understand if a man recalls the bond he shares with his “mates” or “brothaas”. The way a same sex friendship is flourished, where friends give space, share a sense of humour, protect and guide each other in life, have confidence in each other and do not look down upon one another is the same funda which forms the pillar of a successful marriage.
Gone are the days when women lived in a man’s house and had bread on his income, the vision too suits the past, it is obsolete now. So why cling to the age old customs? Men have to mould their vision in order to have a happy marriage, the true meaning of “life companion” can only be realized if you wash the utensils and discuss the interest-rates together. So, for the convenience of men who keep pondering over “why doesn’t she choose me?” a list with frank suggestions, is given below:
1) Respect her and do not look down upon her.
2) Give her space and do not dictate.
3) Be sensitive to her emotions and do not intervene with your “manly logics”, try understanding her.
4) Make her a partner in your life decisions.
5) Do not be overprotective.
6) Treat her like an equal friend, not a kid.
7) Engage in intellectual activities, to keep up the comradeship alive.
8) Be reliable if you have to maintain a long-term relation.
9) Be assertive and truthful.
10) Respect her body and do not dominate or act desperate in bed.
Lastly, DO NOT WORRY! You won’t loose your position as a man, because being her sole honest companion she will always come and lean on your shoulder.
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